Feature Article – Captain Picard’s Lionfish, Livingston
A Pet’s Life In STARFLEET Isn’t Easy! By Lieutenant Commander Arlene Henriques, Newsletter Editor
We all love our pets. From everyday citizens to our fellow Federation members in Starfleet, heck even aliens we meet on the way! Let’s not all forget that even that insane Klingon Captain who attempted to wipe out our intrepid crew of the Enterprise, just so he could steal the Genesis plans, and even succeeded in the brutal murder of Admiral Kirk’s son David-had to all appearances-a Targ that he doted on and who was at his side in the Bridge of his vessel! More on that at another time, I think! Generally all sentient life forms we’ve met seem to have this in common with us-well, except the Borg. They just seem to want to assimilate everybody-although I seem to have heard a rumor around lately about a fluffy pink assimilated Borg tribble-but you know how these things get around. You can’t believe everything you hear out here on the frontier.
But I digress, let’s look at some of the pets we’ve run across in our fellow Starfleet members and how they’ve fared. Life on a Starship can be rough on its crew, just imagine if you’re a beloved pet! After all, you never signed up for any of this.
First up we’ve got Livingston, Captain Picard’s Lionfish. This poor sod really has it rough. His only view is a ready room, while he loves his beloved Picard pet, the accommodations are bleak, lackluster, well, one can only describe it as…they really suck. No one even consulted him before they moved from his wonderful large tank with 360 degree views, interesting furniture, and loads of fun people to see! He can now barely hear the whales five decks down, and without the occasional screaming conversation with them- well you can only imagine. The things he’s got to endure just to be near his pet.
Let’s face it, we all have a LOT of questions about Livingston. Who feeds him? When do they feed him? None of us have ever seen it. Where does his sealed tank open up? Do they change his water? It’s in a bulkhead behind a wall!
Does he ever have company? Oh sure, the occasional Demi god (Q) comes to peer at him (let wonder for a moment how terrifying THAT was for Livingston!) and we can all remember when Hugh the Borg wandered in to stare at him and tap on the glass. It begs the question: Can we consider that company? No, no we cannot.
Things did look up for a while, Deanna Troi wandered in to talk to Livingston. She gave it a good shot to ask him telepathically about his feelings, but seriously, he’s a fish! He just doesn’t have time for that. Then Data comes in and inspects the tank and Livingston with a magnifying glass. No doubt it was during his Sherlock Holmes Cosplay trips. Everyone’s so eccentric on this ship. The drama!
Let’s not even talk about the time Livingston turned into an entirely different species AND color! Sure, no one even noticed Livingston was no longer a red Lionfish and species Pterois Volitans! He suddenly was a completely different fish. People on this ship like to think they notice things! Livingston was definitely not himself. Anyone with half a brain would see he was now a Radial Lionfish from the species Pterois Radiata! Did they look? Did they check when they went to feed him? No one ever even mentioned it.
Pity Troi didn’t come to see Livingston that day, or even Dr. Crusher! No, they just had a meeting in the Ready Room and all strode off on yet another Red Alert. Next day he was back to normal.
Speaking of Red Alerts, no one asked Livingston if he was okay after all the fires, the time the ship was flung into the far reaches of space, or even after they were hit with torpedoes. Don’t even mention the Borg! Fish are very sensitive! Half the time things are on fire in that place, I guess Livingston is lucky he lives inside water. Not like Spot, but we will talk about him later. Well except that time they all devolved. Livingston turned into a jellyfish. That Barclay was such an idiot, he made everyone on the ship turn into something primitive. Riker kept busting in trying to eat Livingston! I guess a potentially venomous jellyfish blob sounded better than replicator food-or maybe Riker didn’t remember how to program it. No one certainly took a good photo of Livingston that day!
Finally things settled down. Livingston’s Pet Picard would come sit, drink Earl Grey Tea (hot), and play the flute. The whales five decks down seemed to like it too, so that was a plus. Then all the sudden he was gone and this creep named Jellico showed up. He didn’t like Livingston! He said, “Get this fish out of my Ready Room!” What we all want to know, was how the heck was Data and Geordi supposed to do that? Livingston was sealed into the bulkhead! Where did they put him? Who was going to feed him? Even the whales five decks down were pissed.
I guess he was just shoved in a cloak room someplace for three or four episodes…I mean days. Then his beloved Picard came back and he got put back into his own wall.
Things went on like this for a long time. Livingston was even given a much larger tank (FINALLY) and he was so happy. Then one day the ship crashed. Miraculously Livingston survived, and was moved into the STARFLEET Pet Retirement Home. Well, that’s the first rumor. Scuttlebutt was that Livingston was actually eaten by Data’s pet cat Spot, but I don’t believe it-Livingston was venomous after all, and Spot was reportedly in good health when he was found…I’m sure he’s really in the Retirement Home for Pets. Aren’t you?
